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The Promise
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Brandon's LiveJournal:

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Monday, February 23rd, 2004
12:17 pm
What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
You will die by:You body was found mangled in a brutal death from an insane lover or jealous significate other.The murderer was sentenced to death row but the chair or gas was too good for them. They sowed you up in a bag and tossed you in your casket, It's a closed case unless your friends and family want to be sick.
Death Date:October 16, 2035
Number attending your funeral?101
How much will you leave to friends and family?$3,402,235
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!
Saturday, January 31st, 2004
3:58 pm
Brian: The beloved family dog... although sometimes
the feeling it not always mutual

Brian Griffin is more than just the family dog. He
is a gentleman and a scholar, and undeniably
the most eloquent member of the Griffin
household. Brian is the first person Peter will
turn to in times of crisis. But the sarcastic
barbs that Brian doles out can be as dry as his

Drinking and throwing out witty bon mots aren't the
only things Brian is good at. If you ask him to
speak, don't be surprised if he responds in
flawless French. He's also got an amazing voice
-- he can sing all four parts of a barbershop
quartet simultaneously. In short, Brian might
be the family dog, but don't tell him that. Did
we mention that Brian also holds a third-degree
green belt in taekwondo? And in seven more
years he'll be a black belt. That's one more
year to you and me.

Which Family Guy character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Thursday, January 29th, 2004
6:45 pm
"Are we all victims of opportunity
Locked outside the door back in '83
I heard the angry voice of the man inside
With the look of fear in my mothers eyes (Go, Go, Go, Go, Go)
I don't wanna know, I don't wanna go (Go, Go, Go)

Mom get in the car and let's drive away
She said I'm sorry Mark, but theres no where to stay
Gave up all her hope and went back inside
In a broken heart and let the engine die (Go, Go, Go, Go, Go)
I don't wanna know, I don't wanna go (Go, Go, Go)

Why do evil men get away with it
Can't you see that I'm in a world of shit
Give up all your hope and go back inside
Stop my bleeding heart and let the engine die "

Those are some pretty serious lyrics for Blink182...brought back some memories for me though.

I remember back when I was about...hmm...I think 9 or 10(?)
Mom was dating this guy Scott...he was a lot younger then her, but he didn't look it. From what I knew, he treated her rather well. Fuck, I wasn't paying attention.

I remember sleeping at my friends house, but when I came home the next morning, there were cops at my house. Her and Scott had gotten into a fight and she threw him out...he kicked my cat and broke her neck. So they arrested him. That was all that happened though...the cat still lived, he went to jail for a few months...end of story.

Well at least for the time being yah?

He gets out of jail...and he calls up my mom, begging her to take him back. He misses her...he's changed...anger management and all that shit. Whatever, of course she took him back though.

Only took a few weeks before I'm sitting in the living room with a blanket wrapped around me, holding my ears with the TV up loud as he's beating the fuck out of her in the other room...

I just didn't want to know what was going on. I just wanted her to walk out smiling or somethin.

My brother was about 15...he tried to help..walked in carrying a hockey stick...Scott yelled...

"Get the fuck out of here punk! I'll shove that hockey stick up your ass!!!"

Mom yelled...

"Nathan get out of here...please..."

Nate walked out...

I rocked back and forth and cried...

Fuck that guy....almost broke her jaw...shattered her ear drum...busted up her nose...

My moms been through a lot...I'm glad she has kept strong through all the years...all the medical problems...Rumatory Arthritis, Pancreatitis, Hepititis C (something we share, sadly) and depression.

I can only hope that I gain the will she has.

I haven't thought about this stuff in a long time...funny how music can do that too ya....
Sunday, November 2nd, 2003
10:54 pm
Lonely night tonight.

28 Days Later is here but Lyns and I didn't have time to watch it...blah...

I feel trapped in my room right now, just trapped in general maybe.
Nights usually aren't so bad, for once I could sure use some sunlight. hah...anyone who knows me will find that hard to believe.

Kacy's calling in sick again tomorrow, another day of Marlene up there all day while I stress in the back. Can't fucking wait.
Hopefully it's slow, at least then it would even out.

Bloody fucking hell...life is good yah?
Time to try and cheer up...or to sleep, either way.

Current Mood: disappointed
Saturday, November 1st, 2003
6:11 pm
Do you ever get that sinking feeling?

I've had it for about a week.

Thats a long time to be sinking.

Maybe it's a drifting feeling instead...how far can I drift away?

Or maybe I'm not moving at all.
Maybe thats the problem.

I'll sit and watch everyone else drift.


off to the show

Current Mood: indifferent
Monday, October 20th, 2003
10:19 pm
I don't know...
I don't know how to talk to you about this, I know it'll cause a problem...but it needs to be said.

Should I even bother bringing it up? Should I just grin and bear it?

I've never felt so much like I didn't matter. Just a dollar sign. Just a pawn, hope my oppinion doesn't conflict with yours, hope my wants and needs are exactly what you want and need.
Hope I don't open my mouth.

Yes master.
Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
12:21 pm
Anyone wanna hang out Tomorrow(Thursday) night after I get off work??
I realllllly need somethin to do...
Monday, September 22nd, 2003
1:14 am
I wish
I wish I didn't get jealous...
I wish I didn't feel distrust...
I wish I always felt loved...even though no one gave me any reason to feel otherwise...
I wish I had friends I could always count on...
I wish I didn't feel empty sometimes...
I wish I were a nicer guy...
I wish I could always be happy...when my life isn't that bad..
I wish I could never be lonely again...ever...

I wish I could feel normal...

I wish I knew if everything was going to be ok...

Current Mood: rejected
Sunday, September 21st, 2003
9:46 pm
So...our lead guitar player quit last week...he has to concentrate more on school.
I understand, I probably should do the same...but I'm not willing to drop my dreams so easily.

Practice has been hard lately...trying to adjust without Ben around, and we have a show this coming friday.
Practice today was a little hard...felt...sad.
I was sad most of the day...felt pressure...felt a little lonely.

The drive home was cold for some reason, just didn't feel so good.
I wish I were tired...I just wanna go to bed...got nothing better to do.

Just playing guitar, worrying bout shit...wondering whats coming around the bend...

It's pretty cold in my house tonight. Mom and Brad are squabbling about something trivial...
They're up in seperate rooms with the doors closed and the TV's up a little louder then normal.

I'm sitting in the dining room with just the glow of the TV and the computer screen. I could use some light tonight, some smiles.
I need to see a smile.
Where is everyone tonight?

Someone smile for me?

Current Mood: cold
Monday, September 15th, 2003
10:41 pm
Goodbye Ben...we'll miss you...

Current Mood: sad
Sunday, September 14th, 2003
4:44 pm
This is how a toy feels when it's batteries run dry...
Wow I'm tired...

Barely in Phoenix Arizona for 2 days...and I felt at home.
Felt a tear roll down as I left...
Back to my normal life again, back home.

I can't live this normal life...I refuse to let my dreams spiral and flush.

Being on a new stage, in a new city, a new state...staring down at these new faces...signing CDs for people who appreciate us...thats an amazing feeling.

My mind has gone blank now...I think I'll just stop writing, I don't feel good...

Current Mood: sick
Wednesday, September 10th, 2003
12:39 pm
I just got some weird e-mails...not sure what to think......guess I shouldn't jump to conclusions...


Current Mood: confused
Tuesday, September 9th, 2003
10:14 pm
I feel
I feel...interesting

I guess thats the word for it...I feel interesting right now.

It's that feeling in between lonesome and irritated by other people at the same time.

Only one person makes me feel sane...and she's not around =(
I don't want to talk to anyone else though...people IM me...and I just close it.
If someone called...I'd just want to hang up...

Kind of weird, I'm rarely like that. I NEED someone here...but don't want them here at the same time. I miss Lyndsi...

I feel inadequate right now. Don't ask me how one feels that way spacifically...but...I feel it. I don't know why really...

This thursday...it will have been 2 years since I first kissed her. I've been hers ever since...even through the other girls and the other guys...I have been hers...always.
Whether I like it or not.

I wouldn't have it any other way...

I wish the phone would ring...
Monday, September 8th, 2003
1:38 am
Slightly worried...yez...slightly....


Current Mood: anxious
Friday, August 29th, 2003
12:25 pm
Ok..so...I have nothing to do now Sunday Night or Monday...it's a holiday and I don't have to work, but I NEED somethin to do...

anyone wanna hang out? =(
Thursday, August 28th, 2003
8:54 pm
Outcast...welcome home.
Such a sad feeling walking into my room....seeing familiar items missing...her bag...her books...her clothes...her scent...

Kind of sad isn't it? It's ok thought... :-D

Just hits me sometimes...how much this beautiful, talented and wonderful girl...my best friend...loves me back haha
I'm a lucky guy...I hope she knows that.

"Here's your new drug
Shoot it in your left eye
Feel it on the right side
No, it's not love
Thought it sets up shop behind your ribcage
building blood clots and black holes
Like using an axe to pull
a sliver from your skin

And they say this is medicine?
An overdose of Oxygen
A severed head as sedutive
To be at peace would be a sin
and surely un-american
I'm breaking

Here's your new blood
Transfusion took us all night
Tell us that you're all right
No, it's not love
Though feels like fire inside of your vains

Burning right beneath the wrist
Begging for a razor's kiss...
To free it from your skin

And they say this is medicine?

Lift the veil
It's not medicine
And my heart fails..time and time again"

Good night
8:22 am
Friday Night :-D
Lyndsi, Becka and I are going out friday night...maybe to the movies...maybe bowling...maybe to play some pool...who knows! Who wants to go? Leave a comment and we'll figure out what to do together :-D
7:23 am

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Prowling on the mini-mall parking lot, clutching a reflective halberd, cometh 55northbass! And he gives an ominous cry:

"I'm going to torment you until there are no limbs left to break!!"

Find out!
Enter username:
Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Wednesday, August 27th, 2003
7:38 am
She's sleeping so peacefully while I type this...I love her so much..I hate having to get up and leave for work in the morning, it's such a depressing feeling.

Leaving the warm and loving feeling for the boredom and tiresome...sweet!

It's ok though...now I go kiss her goodbye and off to the daily grind.
Tuesday, August 26th, 2003
12:25 pm
Some major drama lately...feels all to much like highschool for my taste.

I guess I thought we were all adults...I guessed wrong I suppose.

I've done nothing but try and make Lyndsi happy, she means the world to me and I let her know it...I prove it to her every chance I can get.
I stopped hanging out with certain girl friends, just because I have made mistakes in the past...I don't want to mess this up.

I leave myself open to her, at all times...
and you know the best part of it all? She leaves herself open to me...we love each other and are best friends...we're both amazingly happy.

But somehow...to certain people...this is a problem.

Everyone needs to grow up sometime...Lyndsi feels that the time is now for her...she's not "running from her past" she's moving on with it.

The past is just that...the past. People grow, people change and people move on. She's happy, she feels like she's becoming a better person...why does that bother you so?
Why do you have to make her feel like shit for being happy?

She's not you...she's Lyndsi, she's her own person and she's happy...for Christ's sake let her be happy.

And please don't judge me. You don't know me, you've made no attempt to know me...somehow I threaten you, I'm sorry for that.

Maybe because we're different, you and I.

Even though I didn't agree with a lot of things, I still tried so hard for you to like me, for her...I kept my mouth shut...I didn't let my morals or my oppinions slip out and offend anyone...

And somehow...I still ended up the bad guy

And somehow...even though she's so happy with me, I'm not to be trusted.

I have nothing else to say...you baffle me...

Somehow happiness has become something foriegn to you, and for that I'm sorry...but don't take it out on us.

Why can't the drama just end...why can't people just let us be who we are..and let us be happy.

Move on.

Current Mood: tired
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